Thanks for an easy post to respond to. I am reluctant to respond to your “what is the gospel” post because the first thing I would do is contradict what all the nice folks said on your Xanga site. So here are some answers.
1. Anyone who says BBQ is bad for you is a Gnostic.
2. Don’t ask. Just do it. Seriously.
3. Some folks are wishful thinkers.
4. Probably has something to do with the ‘school’ they went to.
5. $$$
6. She’s a lot prettier than you are.
7. 6-6, but only one game matters.
8. I asked her, and she said something crass that means “a lot”.
9. Peter Leithart
10. September 13, which is the Gregorian equivalent of September 22 by Shire-reckoning. Which as you know is Bilbo and Frodo’s birthday.
Do It Right the First Time 
I think “moderately crass” might be more accurate.